Anchorvale CC Toastmasters Club, Singapore (Sengkang): Anchorvale CC TMC Humorous Speech & Evaluation Contests on 12th August 2017

It was that time of the year again, when all of us gathered to catch an efficient and educational evaluation master-class along with some free entertainment, the kind so joyful and exhilarating, we were promised that we will will leave with a delectable stomach ache for having laughed too much!

Who ever knew that attending Toastmasters could be as enjoyable as playing Counterstrike, Marvel vs. Capcom or Sims? These were the video games President Salma drew parallels to in her Opening Address.

In Counterstrike, terrorists and soldiers have to demonstrate precision, sharp wit and quick forethought - this was no different for our evaluation contestants who will need to deliver tactful and useful evaluations. In Marvel vs. Capcom, a wide gamut of characters exist, synonymous to how Toastmasters can employ a variety of speech tools at their disposal, most useful for Humorous speech contestants. Finally, in Sims, players are bestowed with the opportunity to play god, reminiscent of how Toastmasters should confer their blessings on the fellow contestants and support them wholeheartedly with their full attention and generous laughter.

Well-geared with weapons and armors, contestants deftly got into battle mode, all ready to fulfil the game missions of the day: tickle the audience’s funny bone and to get them erupting in fits of laughter.

Muthu, the first speaker, kicked off the Humorous Speech Contest with bravado with his speech “Remember to Forget, Forget to Remember”. He suggested the contrarian view on how forgetfulness may end up being the gateway to happiness as he shared all the ways he has forgotten important matters with his wife that led to his happiness. I do actually remember the audience laughing heartily during his speech.

Sathiya’s speech “How do I know?” revolved around his comical attempts at getting used to local customary practices - from using chopsticks to buying red packets. (For the record, red packets should be translated as “ang bao” and not “ang moh”!) He went on to describe other difficult moments in his speech, especially his painful urge to control his bladder during an 8 hour bus journey. His pipe leaking incident onboard that bus is going to be indelible in our minds for a while...

Helena impressed with her dramatic speech “My Fear Story”. She candidly shared about her fear of public speaking and her decision to join Toastmasters. She spoke with such finesse, did it occur to anyone that she’s a first time contest speaker? During the contest, she was clearly not the shy lady at the corner of the room trying to conceal herself from the Table Topics Master!

I hope Zulhafni has gotten over his melodramatic relationship with his M-sized T-shirt, because his speech “You just don’t fit anymore” made it clear to all of us that forcing things to fit may yield awkward results! So get over that broken or tight T-shirt, that failed relationship or that terminated employment…

Public transport commuters would be able to relate with Vicky. Remember that time when you were put off by someone’s body odour on the train? Vicky recounted the everyday moments of frustration on the train in his speech “Laws of Frustration”. Vicky certainly deserves a Nobel Physics Award for formalizing these social phenomena into laws.

Dino then took the stage away with his speech “The Influenced Soul”. His tongue-in-cheek speech was about the influences faced at different stages of his life. Though the speech was light-hearted, the message was clear and inspiring: Do not succumb to external influence. Be the inspired soul rather than the influenced soul.

By the time it was the last speaker’s turn, it became virtually impossible to contain our laughter, especially since Angela humored all of us with her hysterical experiences in yoga. Anyone tried the yoga stance that involved looking at the mirror to find out how cute you are? I tried it and the results were less than ideal. Never mind...

To cure our belly aches arising from the uncontrollable cackles and chuckles, we adjourned for a refreshment break. Food is after all the remedy for all confounding problems.

My tummy was filled but my appetite for informative and enlightening evaluations was not satiated. Fortunately, the evaluation contest began shortly after. This time round, we were overjoyed to have a bumper crop of TEN contestants! To kickstart the evaluation contest, the mysterious test speaker was revealed. Sajeev delivered his speech “My Smart Wife” with pizzazz. With the advent of artificial intelligence, I wouldn’t be surprised on the day humans started to wed their smart devices though. Sajeev was truly the most loving husband to his wife…err smart phone. Then again, I’m glad Sajeev abstained from going into detail on how he gets intimate with his “wife”. That would have been too much information.

Evaluation contestants were then given 5 minutes to tidy up their notes before they went in one after another to present their evaluations. The mood outside the room was certainly one of tension. Some contestants were scribbling incessantly, others pacing up and down the hallway, a few keeping their gaze blank as they rehearsed their thoughts internally.

The gameplay began as contestants were called upon to enter the battle room. Valliappan, Roger, Zulhafni, Weite, Angela, Salma, Muthu, Rusman, Vicky and Richard delivered their incisive evaluations on Sajeev’s test speech. It was a sensational fight as each contestant tried to outwit, outplay and outlast the other.

(For the uninformed, evaluation contests at Anchorvale are as intense as reality TV show Survivor). After all evaluators executed their (friendly) blows and punches, I could only say the air reeked with a mixed scent of sweat and blood.

Following the evaluations, everyone was on pins and needles as the tally counters Jenny Au and Mishrita Gundluru processed the judges’ ballots and timers’ sheets. The results were then announced by contest chair Alvin Ee. Through his hysterical emceeing, we found out that he has a wide repertoire of ‘personal friends’ in the club.

Jokes aside, congratulations to all contest winners!

Humorous Speech Contest

Champion: Zulhafni Zulkeflee

1st Runner-Up: Vicky Frantz

2nd Runner-Up: Helena Lim

Evaluation Contest

Champion: Zulhafni Zulkeflee

1st Runner-Up: Salma Begum

2nd Runner-Up: Roger Yap

Before we called it a day, Immediate Past Division A Director Goh Sor Hoon, DTM presented our club with the Merit Award for Achieving Select Distinguished Award during the previous term 2016-2017.

At this juncture, we would also like to extend our gratitude to all appointment holders without whom the contests would not be a roaring success. We hope everyone enjoyed the contest and had bountiful rewards (be it tangible awards or intangible lessons) from the contest!